All Bets are Off the (Periodic) Table
by ragingscooter
Summary: Gail and Holly have a wager while drinking at the bar.


A/N So this short little one shot is dedicated to IrascibleFiddlehead and maryaun for coming up the idea, otherwise I would have spent this time playing my new video game. All mistakes are mine and no I don't own Rookie Blue, its characters or the song used later in the story that belongs to Tom Lehrer.

All Bets are Off the (Periodic) Table

"Last chance to back out officer; leave with your dignity intact." Holly warned as she spun her bar stool to face Gail, a teasing glint in her eye.

"Not a chance nerd and might I add that you were the one that suggested this? Feeling nervous? Are you unsure of your intellectual prowess? Worried that a dumb cop might show you up?" Gail shot back as she slammed the shot that the bartender placed in front of her.

Holly shook her head as she picked up her own shot, "I have never once said that you were dumb…"

"But you were thinking it?" Gail pressed as she stole Holly's shot from her hand and drank it down without hesitation. She started to fidget on her stool, turning it left and then right, "I get that not all of us have both a PhD and an MD but I did go to university…"

Holly stopped her mid spin, "Gail I have never thought that you were dumb…juvenile at times but that is just part of your charm."

Gail arched an eyebrow and attempted to give her a Peck patented 'Ice Queen Glare' but after a month of dating Gail discovered that it didn't have the desired effect on the pathologist as it did on others and she broke into a smile of sorts, "Well at least we can agree that I am charming."

Holly rolled her eyes but her lips twitched forming a lopsided smile, "I didn't say that…"

"Doesn't matter that is what I heard. So are we doing this or what?" Gail smirked.

Holly didn't even try to hold in a laugh as she shook her head, "I guess so but Gail remember that I spent years learning this stuff, quizzing myself so many times that I could recite them in my sleep…I probably still do."

With a shrug Gail motioned for the bartender to bring them more shots, "Don't care, I am still going to win and when I do…"

"I remember the terms of the wager, I wouldn't welch on a bet but remember what happens when I win." Holly said rather matter of fact as she lined up their rows of shots, she hated losing as much as Gail did.

"I know…I know another trip to the batting cages but it won't come to that because I _am_ going to win. You best come to terms with that now nerd, you are going to lose." Gail replied confidently as she took a sip of her beer. The two of them were already well on their way to being drunk before the wager and Gail could honestly say that she had no idea how they came up with the bet but with several pitchers of dark lager and too many shots to count shared between them it sounded like a good idea and there was no way that Gail was losing. "So do you want to flip a coin or what to see who goes first?"

Holly leaned against the bar and waved her hand as if saying go-ahead as she picked up her own half-filled glass, "No need, you go first; dazzle me with your knowledge."

Once again Gail tried to glare but couldn't quite pull it off, maybe she was at that stage of drunkenness where she was just goofy or maybe she was incapable of glaring at Holly, it didn't matter at the moment she had a bet to win. "Okay you asked for it nerd, prepare to be dazzled."

A small crowd had gathered around them, "What is going on?" Chloe asked as Dov handed her a fresh drink.

"Oh Gail and Holly were joking earlier how Holly could recite every single bone in the human body in under sixty seconds in not only alphabetical order but in ascending or descending in size… I can't remember… but then Gail said something about how she could name every single element on the periodic table and Holly called her bluff." Dov explained.

"Okaaay…" Chloe drawled out as she took a seat closer to the action. "This is something I gotta see."

Holly drummed her fingers on the bar as she watched Gail set the timer on her phone for sixty seconds, "Waiting…"

"Don't get your fleece in a bunch." Gail snapped back in a teasing way as she handed the phone to Holly. "Just press start when I nod."

"I know how to use a phone Gail."

Gail didn't respond as she took one last shot, she looked around the bar and found her fellow cops standing behind her watching in anticipation of what was about to happen and she fought her urge to laugh, clearly her friends were easily entertained. She turned back to face Holly and took a deep breath and finally gave her the nod to start the clock and she started to sing:

"_There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,  
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,  
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,  
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,  
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,  
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,  
And gold and protactinium and indium and gallium,_

And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium,  
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium,  
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,  
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium.

Isn't that interesting?

I knew you would.  
I hope you're all taking notes, because there's going to be a short quiz next period.

" Gail took a breath and smirked at Holly's stunned face before continuing."_There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium,  
And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium,  
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,  
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium.  
And lead, praseodymium, and platinum, plutonium,  
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,  
And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium,_

And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.

There's sulfur, californium, and fermium, berkelium,  
And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium,  
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc, and rhodium,  
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin, and sodium.

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Ha'vard,  
And there may be many others, but they haven't been discavard.  
Now, may I have my next shot please?  
Got carried away there.

"

With three seconds so spare Gail hit the bar with her fist in victory causing some of the tequila to splash over the sides of the shot glasses. "Boo freaking ya!" Gail gloated as the bar was stunned silent.

Gail waited for Holly's response as her friends from 15 started to clap and she waited for them to disperse. "So?" she eventually asked when it seemed clear that Holly wasn't going to answer.

Holly raised her hands in defeat, "You win. I…I …I didn't know that you could sing." She rambled as she grabbed the last shot before Gail could.

Gail smirked, "Oh nerd there are a lot of things you don't know about me. But lucky you, I kind of want you to stick around for a while…maybe you can learn some of them."

Holly gulped the liquor down, "I would like that. So when do you want me to make good on my end of the bet?"

Gail quickly hopped off of her bar stool and grabbed Holly's hand and pulled her off of her seat as she tossed a few twenties onto the bar. "You got a spare labcoat at home?" Gail asked as she rushed them towards the exit, Holly nodded as she watched Gail's eyes darken. "Good we can't properly play doctor without it."

Holly felt her face redden and her body temp rise as Gail excitedly waved down a cab, clearly eager to get back to Holly's place. Holly smiled as Gail opened the cab's door for her and placed a kiss to her forehead as she ducked into the waiting vehicle and she thought that maybe, just maybe, losing wasn't so bad.


End file.
